Detox–Day 7 (The final day!)

It was a beautiful day here in Koh Samui today, blue skies and scattering of white clouds. My only hope is that the weather stays this good over the next couple of days that Janet and Oscar are here. I cant wait to see them tomorrow.

Still didn’t do too much, did my colonics and had another Thai massage downstairs. The ladies there are really good and stretch you right out. I am sure as well that they aren’t applying full pressure as they do it, as I told them I am a bit soft. It is a very relaxing experience through, almost fell asleep doing it.

The ladies here know its my last day, so they have been preparing the last treatments for me. One involves a small bottle of clear liquid I am meant to drink before going to be tonight. I don’t look forward to it, it will probably taste pretty bad, but at least its the end road. Tomorrow I get to eat again, the trick is deciding what… I am told I should be eating raw food for the next few days, vegetables and such, but I cant get the thought that a pizza is out there with my name on it…

I remember the last time I finished a detox, and was craving something to eat. I could barely finish it, seemed my stomach had shrunk, and it probably going to be the same case tomorrow. Regardless I look forward to eating something, as I said, its not the hunger, but the taste of good food that I miss.

I met an Australian woman from Japan this evening, she was telling me how unimpressed in Singapore she was, because she got denied permanent residence, even though she was invited to lecture at NUS. SI found myself sticking up for the country I call home these days, although I don’t think she cared. She tells me she is on day two of her detox, and she was feeling pretty depressed. Unfortunately she was just too depressing to talk to, eventually I told here I had to go and drink my detox drink. I guess Day 2 is when the toxins start coming out, so maybe that was affecting her, but I did not want to let her get me down after coming so close to my seven day completion.

So tonight I will spend the remainder, trying to finish the last book of “The Dark Tower” series, and dreaming of something to eat.

Detox–Day 6 Mysteries Solved!

Well I might be the first person in the world announcing this so hold your breath…

I finally know what Santa does the other 364 days of the year. He runs a jeep and motorcycle rental place here in Koh Samui. I could help but laugh when I saw that. Plain as day, the only thing they were missing was a picture of the old fella on the side of the car saying “Lo Lo Lo prices guaranteed!”.

I made my way up again in to town, with new directions on where to go, turns out the last place I went to wasn’t even remotely the town centre, I took the right turn this time and ended up in the main district of Lamai, shops, restaurants (that was a killer, just the smell of food made me question the last few days…), shops, massage parlours, some that looked reputable, some questionable.

The one shop I did head in to was a leather shop, and checked out there wares… finding a decent leather belt in Singapore that actually fits me has always been a challenge, so it was great to find something that looked of decent quality. I ended up buying two, one black and one brown. She wanted to offer me one with a sizeable belt buckle of fiery eagle landing on some banner, but decided that might be a little too ostentatious for the office.

On the way back had another laugh on signs here, and wish I had my phones with me to take a snap. A small sign saying “Beware Dog that Bites!”, it was good advice, all I needed to do now was to make sure if I saw any I should avoid them. I guess if it was for security it made the right impact, I am sure that the sign “Beware Dog that will give you a stern talking to!”, would certainly not instil fear in any would be trespassers.

Might go and try for a Thai massage downstairs, see if that can help kill some time…

Detox–Day 6

The weight loss has definitely slowed, haven’t seen any major loss for the last two days now, and no I haven’t been slipping the sneaky hamburger on the side, although the thought did cross my mind.

Got a funny remark from one of the older ladies working here, she told me that everyday she sees me I am wearing a different colour, and I am very beautiful. Cant blame the lady if she has taste I guess, but makes you wonder, how many days in a row do the guests here wear the same clothes?

The big thing now is trying to work out ways to pass the time quickly, I have already watched two movies in the TV room, thinking about another. There is also the Dark Tower to finish… 50% through now, and maybe a visit to the beach for the first time if the weather holds up well…

3 more colonics to go… thank god…

1.5 days to go…

Detox–Day 5

Well the raining has stopped, at least for a while, although the clouds still loom grey over the island, so I am a bit worried about heading out and being stuck in the middle of it.

At the detox drink this morning I checked in on the weight and it seems I have lost another kilo. I guess there is going to be a sharp drop then slow down as the body balances itself out, but will see what the end result after 7 days is.

I managed to get one of the girls to let me take a picture of their t-shirt which I mentioned earlier, classic…


I also took the opportunity to get a facial from downstairs in the beauty salon. Had a good chat to the girl working there about the floods and life in general. She tells me her boyfriend is from the UK, and is here for a year doing Thai boxing training. I guess you have to envy someone who is willing to take a year off to get their ass handed to them in a Thai boxing ring. She said she doesn’t dare to watch anymore, but I am sure that with a years training, he must get pretty good, or be very disappointed. Maybe its a skill which comes in handy at pub brawls over in England, although it would probably look pretty funny when one guy throws a punch and the other guy is hopping around on one foot Smile.

Maybe I should get a little pair of Thai boxing shorts of Oscar and Jude (My brothers son), and set up a mini ring at Christmas for entertainment. I think Jude would win.

Anyway, the beauty salon owner was telling me that a lot of the matches have been cancelled on account of the rain, so I haven’t been missing anything. She said I could go down and watch them train in the afternoons, although that sounds like a poor substitute to me, kind of like watching the trailer for a movie and saying you have seen the whole thing.

At the end of the session she asked if I wanted to borrow some movies to watch while I was here. It was funny she asked, because the day before I bought a movie from the 7-11, Predators, I have seen it before but they didn’t have a very good selection. She asked if I got the English or the Thai version…

“There is a different version?”

Turns out, yes I got the Thai version, which I handed to her and said she could give it to someone as a Christmas present. Fair payment for the loan of the other two movies.

So I think that’s how I will spend my afternoon, chilling and watching movies, i daren’t risk an excursion out and being caught in the downpours if they are anything like yesterday.

Detox–Day 4

Still raining in Koh Samui, guess they have seen a lot of that here based on the news. So haven’t really had a chance to venture out again.

I weighed in this morning during the first detox drink, and found that I have lost another 2 kilos, so things are going well.

Decided that if I was stuck here, I should avail myself of some of the services on offer, so headed to the beauty shop downstairs and had a manicure and pedicure. They did a very thorough job, haven’t seen so much skin come off the feet before, but it feels great.

Got a tip on some Thai boxing tonight, not far from here. They told me its lady Thai boxing, so that should be interesting, just hopefully I get some relief from the rain.

I also managed to finish reading “Song of Susannah” yesterday, so I am now on to the final book, “The Dark Tower”. Interesting how Stephen King writes himself in to the story, it would seem egotistical, but its done very well. I guess its a way of Stephen King explaining why it took him so long to finish the series.

I also met the guy in charge of mediation here, a German fellow, says he has been living here for the past three years. Seems to be a lot of Germans working here, must be because of the similarities between lifestyles of Thai and Germany Smile.

Saw the funniest t-shirt worn by the staff here at the resort. It says “Shit Happens @ Spa Koh Samui”. Must have some of the marketing people with a sense of humour to poke fund at themselves on that one. Will try to get a picture of it.

Also ran in to a guy who has been on the 7 day program which I met the first day. He said today is his last day and feels so much better for it. He even indicated that I looked a 1000 times better since I started, although I am sure the treatments are part of that, I credited it to the fact I have been getting a whole lot of sleep while I have been here, regenerating post launch.

Anyway, considering having a nap again, with the rain it makes it pleasant. Then maybe going back to the beauty shop for a facial as well, make myself pretty for when Janet and Oscar come on Saturday. I do miss them terribly, and cherish the nightly phone calls just to hear their voices.

Take care and will try and report in on the Thai boxing if I am able to get out there.

Detox–Day 3

The day has started off with another down pouring of rain, seems to be the season here. So after the first detox drink I shrunk back in to bed to catch a few more ZZZs. If there is one good thing, I have managed to catch up on a lot of sleep I haven’t had for a while.

After the colonic, I thought I should go and take some pictures of the spa resort to show, to be honest I haven’t even had a look myself yet, so I checked out the beach, but with the weather not great, I took some pics from the balcony of one of the areas.


I love how this Panorama feature on Windows Live Gallery works, and the fact I can take around my Windows Phone as my major camera.

They also have a fairly nice setup here for these rooms called the A-frames, they look more traditional and  probably charge more, but they seem small, and I am happy I got the larger standard room, although not really doing anything that would make use of the space.


I am trying to think now what to do with the time in between so I picked up a few brochures of activities, and am thinking about wither the Aquarium or the Croc farm. There was also one attraction which involves entering a large ball and being rolled down a hill, sounds interesting.

Oh, by the way and I am sure everyone is thinking about this, how much weight have I lost since starting. Well I don’t think its going to be something amazing in terms of dropping weight, but I think I have lost about 2 kilos since I started, I am now at 130kg, still not an ideal weight, but two kilos off is a good start. I will try and make sure I update with the weight loss every day so you can see the progress.

Anyway, the most immediate challenge now is laundry, and where to get it done, check in with you later!!

Detox–Day 2

So its the end of day 2. This is the time I guess it gets harder…

Starting to really miss eating, and funny its not the hunger, although sometimes I feel the pangs, its more the missing of the taste of food.

Had two colemas today, they seemed to go pretty well, still flushing out the bad from the system.

Also decided to go for another walk in to town, just to kill the boredom. It’d funny, its not just a detox from food, but also one from TV etc. Unfortunate thing was I got stuck in the rain, and to wait it out for an hour under the roof of a shop that was closed.

I am sure there is some sort of mental and physical hump to get over to not be tempted by the good food around here, will have to wait and see how I fare tomorrow.

Also managed to finish “Wolves of the Calla”, and on to Song of Susannah, the reading kills the boredom but I do miss  Janet and Oscar, and looking forward to them coming on Friday.

I think tomorrow I might try and head out to a reptile park or something between treatments, just to keep the mind occupied.

I keep saying to myself that its just a week, and maybe the downer is coming from the toxins being expelled, lets hope its not for too long…

Detox–Day 1

So I am a day late in updating the blog, on account of I wasn’t quite sure where to get the Wi-Fi from. Found out I had to buy it from the counter, anyhow, we are up and running, so let me recount the first day.

It all started at 7am, where I had to go and pickup my first detox drink. I remember from my last session over 1 year ago, that these were neither pleasant or tasty. The last joint made us mix a combination of fibre and clay in to water to drink. Thank god the guys here have the decency to actually mix it with fruit juice so it goes down that much easier. I opted for the pineapple, and once that’s down, you follow up with a glass of water. I have to take these every 3 hours, the good thing is, it does fill the stomach, so you don’t feel entirely hungry during the day.

In addition every 1.5 hours between drinks, you have to take these supplements, to two things,

  1. The green helps to replace good bacteria in the gut WP_000030
  2. The brown helps to break down the colon plaque, Ill let your minds wander on that one.


Considering my first colema (the colonic irrigation) wasnt until the afternoon, I thought Id take a walk up to the local area of Lamai Beach, the area I am staying in. I wanted to buy some t-shirts and shorts to knock around in while I am here, so I took the 30 min stroll up to the main part of the town.

It’s always interesting to look at different places and what they offer. The most disappointing thing is, there is apparently the most awesome burger house just a stones throw away, and if you know how much I love burgers, this is a killer… STAY THE COURSE MATT! In addition I have been told there is also a really good cafe, some of best pizza and a whole lot of other really good things which I cannot have for seven days!

On the way, I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the Ninja Crepe restaurant, I half expected some guy in a black suit to jump out of the bushes throwing a crepe at my mouth like a throwing star. I suppose the age old question of what does a ninja do when they retire is now answered.


Anyway, I walked all the way in to town, to the suggested destination for t-shirts by the staff at the spa. It was Tesco, the big retail chain in the UK. I couldn’t believe they were here in the middle of tropical jungle. When I walked in to the store it was just like any normal Woolworths in Australia, it was blindingly white and clean, everything ordered in the way it should be, I felt like I walked through a portal to a different country. I proceeded to look for what I was after, but lo and behold, nothing was my size, so I decided to get out of there as quickly as possible, also considering the Dunkin Donuts shop was checking me out.

With that I thought Id head back to the spa, for the next detox drink and some sleep. Considering I haven’t been getting a lot of it, recently I tool the chance to recharge. The funny thing was on the way back, I was of course walking on the opposite site of the road, and guess what happened to be across the road from Ninja Crepes, none other than Ninja Place. It struck me that if I was looking for an assassin the local Koh Samui branch may not be that covert.


So got back to the spa, and had another detox drink and another nap, still reading the Wolves Of Calla by Stephen Kind, part of the excellent Dark Tower series.

At about 4pm, there was a knock on my door, so I jumped up to see who it was. I was greeted by the fasting manager of the spa, a Canadian guy, who was asking me to come down to the the TV room to watch the Colema training video. I thought this would be a bundle of laughs, so proceeded down to a room where a group of four intrepid detoxers were waiting for me to start the training. After watching the video of a very serious American explaining the process, of inserting a tube in your bum. We went to one or the guests rooms to see how you set this thing up. The last place I stayed at, they had separate rooms that they set everything up for you, but this time, its like the IKEA of detoxing, you take it back to your room and assemble yourself.

Basically, this is the setup;


The colema board sits on a stool at one end, and on the toilet seat at the other. The tube goes up to a bucket hanging from the ceiling with a mixture of coffee and apple cider vinegar, and it looks like this;


Yum Yum, this is what goes in people… relax.

The tube has a nozzle at the end with little holes that act like a sprinkler, there is not force pushing the liquid in so its quite gentle. The nozzle is small and looks like this;


The one last thing they provide, and its your best friend is this;


So I wont go in to the details now, but the process is relatively easy and “smooth” :-). This goes for about 30 mins, and while that happens you can keep yourself occupied by reading a book or something.

After that liberating experience, it was nap time again, followed up by a vegetable broth later in the day, which is extremely weak, thank god my wife bought me some Cayene pepper to spice it up a bit.

So there you go, Day 1 done, feeling good if not a bit sleepy, but see how we go for the full days.


Now for a shameless bit of advertising, all the pictures were taken with my new Windows Phone 7, This little guy is a brilliant piece of tech that makes sure I have all the alarms set on when to do certain things during the detox, and help record the adventure. Love you Windows Phone! 🙂